This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal.
Today, I just got the keys to my first house.
Give it time.
Needed this today
Jerjan Nikko Alim | I am a singer, songwriter, tattoo model, pole dancer, and aerial silks dancer. I'm in the weed business, music business, and as I said, modeling business. I'm only 5'2 but since. I'm a college student. Formally attended Musician's Institute, now UCLA, majoring in Music Business. Because, no matter how cool you are, knowledge is never out. I collect watches, bongs, books, and all sorts of pocket knives. I have an obsession for Angelina Jolie & pit bulls. I have 2 UKC certified purebreed pitbulls. My next goals is to rub elbows with Ms. Jolie. I was a California 51/50 when I was a minor, crazy past, but it makes me a survivor.History is my favorite subject. I also happen to know a lot of facts about serial killers. Anything gruesome, morbid, and dark catches my interest. I'm mixed: Filipina, Persian, Chinese, and Spanish. I am uncommonly inquisitive ; relentlessly ruthless ; irrationally emotional ; impulsively spontaneous ; annoyingly meticulous ; adventurous with a large dose of rebellious. Also, I have a crazy judge of character. Good company with stimulating conversations are always a must for me. Let's be friends?
People will ask me
if there ever is a point
to anything other than this
and I will tell them that
yes, yes there is.
In everything you do
you should do it with love
and hope, passion, grace
whether at the courtesy of others
or for one’s own pleasure.
With all of your heart
you must try to see the light
even on the darkest eves
for it will guide you through
your most difficult trials.
And lastly, oh, but lastly
shall you see the world
as your canvas — plain, white and delicate
in need of a great story
to be placed upon it.
I love sarcastic people with high vocabularies
I want you. I want your sleepy confused look when you wake up, and the smile that follows. I want to be the warmth that fills the space in your bed. I don’t want to share you.
& if i empty
into you —
i will only
When he says
He doesn’t love you anymore,
Roll your shoulders back
And look him in the eye
Even when it feels like your ribs
Are breaking inward, like spider legs.
When he digs up old aches
That he swore he forgave you for,
And ask him why he didn’t leave you sooner.
Ignore the way the words feel like sandpaper
Running all the way up your throat to your mouth.
When he blames you
For mistakes that wear his face,
Do not scream.
Do not cry.
Tell him that there are boys
Who would be proud to say they’d loved you.
Tell him that in two years
You won’t even remember his name
And don’t let him see the way you can taste your own lie.
When he leaves
Ignore the howling in your blood
And do not get up after him.
Not even to lock the door.
Do not, do not
Smell his shirts when you box them up
To give them back.
Swear off dating when you realize
You’re chasing ghosts that wear his smile.
It’s okay to cry over him.
It’s even okay to forgive him.
But do not go back to him.
If he did not know how to love you the first time,
He won’t know how to do it the next.
May 16th// 11:08 pm
“Hey, I guess you’re asleep. Call me back when you wake up.”
July 24th// 5:04 am
“Wake up, I miss you.”
September 8th// 2:09 am
“I just wanted to hear your voice.”
September 8th// 2:16 am
“Okay, listen. I think I might be in love with you. Please call me back.”
October 11th// 5:42 pm
“Baby girl, I love you. I’m so happy you’re mine. I’ll see you tonight.”
November 29th// 8:06 am
“You’re still asleep, and you’re the most beautiful thing in the world. I can’t wait to get home and see you. I can’t wait to kiss you.”
December 12th// 9:16 am
“Look, I’m sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean it. I still love you, princess. I love you. I’m sorry. I just… I love you, alright. Call me back when you can.”
January 15th// 4:06 pm
“I’m out, and I saw something that made me think of you, so I thought I would call you. I miss your voice.”
January 18th// 9:12 am
“Baby, get dressed. I’m picking you up in 15. Let’s run away.”
January 23rd// 8:47 pm
“Oh God, your mother hates me.”
February 14th// 3:06 pm
“Happy Valentine’s day. I love you more than anything. You’re the world. You’re everything good. I’d let you swallow me whole. I like the way you look when you’re tired. I hate it when you cry. I’ll see you tonight baby.”
February 24th// 12:09 am
April 8th// 4:06 am
“Hey… I need to come over and get the rest of my stuff.”